Wardrobe Malfunctions, DMC Style
by FreedChi
Summary: Can be read as standalone story. Prequel to the story 'His babysitter, devilishly stylish', a crossover story with Batman. Ever wondered how the reluctant Dante ended at Wayne Manor in his shirtless fashion? Surely, he got tricked, bribed and threatened somehow… Cause no way he would do this. Right? Enter Lady and add Trish to the mix.
1. Tease

_AN: I decided to give it a go. And guess what, it's not a one-shot! Enjoy._

___Disclaimer: The usual stuff. _

_Edit 07/14/2012: I made the title more stylish. Next part will be longer  
_

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**Wardrobe Malfunctions, DMC Style  
**

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-Tease-

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_Devil May Cry shop_

_Saturday 03:15 am_

Dante entered the main living area, running a hand through his still damp hair. Getting dirty was a hazard of the demon hunting business, but man, this icky shit-goo he could do without. Because it wasn't just blood, oh no sir-ree. It just was near impossible to get the shit out of his clothes, if not downright just impossible. The targeted demon in question had decided to go with a bang, and yours truly had practically been showered in the stuff. Whoop-die-fucking-doe. His poor, poor coat. And he really loved that coat, darn it.

Maybe he should just give up wearing stylish clothes on hunting business. Yeah, he could just run around butt naked. That was what he was gonna do. But then he would still get goo in his hair though. And for the record; his hair was white. That's right, as in LIGHT WHITE. Some even said it had a silver shine. But you know how long it took him to get it near clean again? And it hurt like hell if he had to yank something sticky out of it

He flopped down in his chair, and launched his legs and his bare feet to their usual place on his desk, crossing them at the ankles. He tilted his chair slightly backward, facing the rotating ceiling fan. Yeah, bare feet, because he was only wearing his leather pants at the moment. It was the only piece of clothing that had somewhat survived the ordeal. And did he get paid? Nope. Same old, same old. He needed money. And he needed it fast, or he was royally screwed.

**"BWAHM!" **

That would be the door, coming of its hinges.

"DANTE! I got a job for you!"

Yep. He was royally, **royally** screwed.

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_To be continued_


	2. Crazy Girls

AN: Ready for the ride? Maybe I should move this story to the Crossover section, just like the main story…

If you spot these little buggers, also knows as typo's and the sort? Feel free to PM me about it. I won't bite…hard.

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**Wardrobe Malfunctions, DMC Style**

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- Crazy Girls -

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Lady was talking animatedly, apparently very enthusiastic about something. Dante was zoning out. Really, you couldn't blame him. Lady was wearing one of her usual revealing outfits. But first, who was he to talk and second, he definitely wasn't complaining. Still, a skirt that short didn't seem very … practical. Her weapon holsters covered more leg and hip sometimes. As for that low cutout blouse…Ah, if she only would stop naggin'. If only.

"Are you even listening to me, Dante?"

_Oops, busted._ "Maybe…" Note to self, look when she doesn't notice.

"Face is up here," Lady emphasized by pointing, rolling her eyes at Dante's lopsided grin. "You can even read my lips then, if you have hearing problems."

Right, try to focus on those lovely mismatching eyes.

"Pay attention, Dante. Now, I am trying to tell you about a job! It's not the usual demon hunting stuff and probably requires some dimension hopping thing-a-ma-jig, but quite frankly I don't think you have much choice at the moment. You need to pay up. And you need to pay me back FAST."

One was reddish brown. The other was blue.

The female demon slayer started pacing. "On the last job you managed to bring down an ENTIRE shopping mall complex. Which, I may add, was BRAND NEW! Do you have ANY idea how much that one cost me? It was a pain in the ass to cover up. And the time before that-"

"Oh c'mon Lady, the demons already did have the job half done on that one!"

Lady stopped pacing, and turned to Dante with a furious look in her eyes. "Look here, MISTER. You need to tip the money scale into the positive! And I mean like RIGHT NOW!"

Mad Lady equals no fun. "Don't you think I want to?" Dante protested. At the moment, Lady was dead scary. The woman was a serious bloodhound, when it came to money. And of course, she had her ever trustful Kalina-Ann with her, like always. F.Y.I. it was a mean looking customized missile launcher. Dante wouldn't die if Lady used said weapon on him, but it was one of those other things he could do without. Thank you very much. He still had to clean the mess from the last time death tag.

The huntress was staring him down, growling trough clenched teeth. "You. Are. Getting. The Job." She lifted her hand, which held a piece of paper.

"All right, all right! Give it. Let me see it." Dante snatched the offending ad from Lady's hands and started reading it out loud.

"_**Wanted**_**…**_**Male babysitter for violent, pre-adolescent boy with**_** … **_**anger management issues?**_ … Huh?"

"Congratulations Dante, you can read!" Lady clapped her hands together slowly, as if applauding him.

Sarcasm was overrated. "Ha. Ha. I'm laughing my ass off. It's a frikkin' sitting job!"

"Just read the rest, will ya?"

Dante sighed. "_**Knowledge of guns, knives and martial arts therefore a must**_…sure, that bill I can fit." Dante declared, before continuing.

"_**Sitting will be on your own risk, employer will not be responsible for any… injury …or ….fatality**__._ … The hell?"

"Scared?" Lady jibbed.

"Again, it's a frikkin' sitting job! What's the worst that can happen?"

Lady shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe they are afraid the kid gets kidnapped by force for ransom," she elaborated, "the family is loaded, just read the next part."

"_**Reward: a lot**_…_** When interested, ask for Wayne Manor**_….Ghee, I wonder how many Strawberry Sundaes I can buy with that.. ."

_What. A load. Of crap._

"You sure this is a serious ad? It looks like some kid thought it up!"

"I got it from one of my older en trusted connections. It originated from some mercenary network, with only restricted access since it is usually for hit jobs and weaponry goods." The female demon slayer explained.

"Oh, well, if it's from the internet," Dante mockingly started, "then it must be truth..HEY,..what th-…Lady!"

Lady had punched him right in the bicep of his left arm, looking cross.

" You know, if you wanted to feel me up, you just had to say so." Dante sourly joked, feigning to nurse his arm.

" You wish. You annoying little man."

"Aw, I'm deeply hurt. I'm just sayin', yur standing awfully close. Not that I particularly mind that part, but you could be a bit nicer to me babe..."

A red color rose on Lady's face. She now started to look absolutely livid.

"Hello? Well, looks like the door got busted once again. Oh," Trish leered, spotting Dante and Lady standing together at close distance, "am I interrupting something?"

Oh shi-. Like Lady wasn't trouble enough by herself. "You crazy chicks, it's, like 3:30 in the morning!" Dante threw up his arms in expiration.

"Like that ever stopped us." Trish shot back drolly, walking in.

_How come I never meet any nice girls_… Dante asked himself for the umpteenth time.

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_To be continued_


End file.
